Futile Devices.

Never have I once thought one small simple gesture like what my friends did would turn my whole mood around. Just that one thing helped me so much. I can't control the happiness I feel for them. They're the people I know that will always be there for me. I still feel have a lot on my mind. I don't know how to process the things that have been going on. First, the whole problem that escalated out of no where, to these changes that are starting to scare me. I don't know what to do with anything that has happened. I've turned into something I thought I never would have imagined. I'm still the same, but better. I finally stood up for myself, I finally was able to make something out of myself, and my standards are slowly slipping, and I'm becoming more open minded about people. I don't know if that last one is a good thing yet, considering I felt that nothing will change me, and college has. College is a big impact on someone's life. A lot happens in college that can make a person better or worse. My head is still on my shoulders, and I know that will never change. I have become a better person in college, and I've seen people slip already. I've seen people make poor decisions, and I've seen people get themselves so messed up, they can't get anything working right. This post will consist of two different things. So many things have happened since school has started. I feel like I've been on my own for years. I miss my home, being back for that weekend felt good. I couldn't ask for anything more to see my family again, but this is my family too. The people I've met have impacted me greatly. Since the whole fiasco of what happened this week, I learned who my friends were, and who wasn't.

I learned I have six wonderful people in my life that care about me more then anyone else. These six people will always be there for me no matter what happens, and they care for me. I've never had anyone like that. Six seems like an obscure number, but to me, that's more then enough. Two of them have made the biggest impact on me the most. My best friend, my suite-mate, my sister. She's always going to be there for me...always. She has held me when I've cried for hours. She's sat up with me and has been there for me when I've just needed to get away. She's a chola from Santa Ana, but she's the sweetest, most caring person I have ever met. She has been so misunderstood because she doesn't want to get wrapped up in anything, and I envy her for letting things go. She will be my friend that I will have forever. She will go with me, and travel with me through the chapters of my life, and she will be there when I need her, and I'll be there when she needs me. We balance each other out. Opposites attract, I suppose. The second person is that person that I didn't think would ever be someone I would get along with. Again, opposites attract. We have gone through our problems, and have gone through different emotions. Feelings have been played with and have been seen by other people, but they have no idea how much I need them. I can't go a day without talking to them. Not seeing them for a day is odd to me. I don't know why I feel this way, but I do. He knows most of my secrets and problems. I can confide in him, and I think that's what makes me so attached. I've never had anyone besides my family to care for me the way these two do. Maybe they don't think so. Maybe it's a one way thing, but to me, they have held me together when I needed it the most. My life felt like it was so complicate when this week got hard, but I know now, that shouldn't be my concern. My concern is going to school, getting an education, going to work, focusing on Berkeley, and being a good person. I couldn't focus on that when my thoughts were concerned about other things. Now that, that is over, my priorities are straight. I don't need anything more then that. I have goals, and these goals need to be reached, and the way I was heading at first, wasn't good, now I understand what needs to be different. I've never felt as happy as I do now. I was so concerned on stupid, idiotic things, and now, I don't need to deal with that anymore. Everything is done and over with, and I could never be happier. Once one more change happens, I will be the happiest person in the whole world. I feel happy. I feel better. I have the things that have settled my mind, and I don't need anything more. I'm truly happy.

And I have my robot, Alex.