No matter what I do, I feel that I'll never succeed or get the things I want. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could tell the future? We could learn how to change things, we could learn what we need to do differently. It is only a matter of time till all of this stops. I don't want to be stuck in this position. My heart feels odd. It's between sadness and joy. I can't do this. I can't be that person that destroys something that has been built up so long ago. I need him to understand that. I'm not that person he thinks I'm going to be. I don't want to do that. I feel ashamed. I don't feel right. Shall I avoid?? I think it is probably the best idea. Should I listen to what other people are saying? Should I listen to my friends?? I don't know what I should do. I think I should listen to what I feel. I'm tired. I'm drained. Fuck, this is shitty.
All I'm going to say is, I can't.
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