If it was possible for me to follow every move you make, it would be wonderful. I want to see what thoughts manifest in your mind. I want to feel the emotions you feel, even if you don't feel anything at all. Years, has it been years? These years, i've always come back. I've always felt that I should love you, that I should hate you, and yet, no matter what I feel towards you, you occupy my thoughts the most. I have always hated you. I have hated the fact that you are so inconsiderate, that you try so hard to fit in with the latest trends. Have hated you for trying to be that person everyone loves. I've hated you so much, I thought I could never hate anyone as much. And yet, out of all this hate for you, I love you. I love the way you are. I love how handsome you are. I love the way you put words together. I love the way you laugh at jokes that you think are very funny. I love the way we were able to connect. Now, however, I don't know what to do. I loath you to the point where even hearing your voice makes me angry. Yet,often, I think if you are alright, to see what you are doing, to see if you are happy with your life and the decisions you make. I envy everything you do. Is it odd that I have these mixed emotions? I always wonder what life would have been like if we stayed friends this year. I still hope and pray that, some day, we meet up again. I wish this dearly. No matter how much hate I have for you, I still love the way you are. I still envy everything you do. I only wish you were able to see this. I will one day see you again and everything in my thoughts about you will shatter. Until that day comes, I will strive to feel nothing towards you.
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